somebody snuck up and got me drunk
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
