I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
