just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
