some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
