I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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