If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
