i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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