If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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