I wish I could teleport
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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