Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
