I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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