I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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