I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
splinters make it hard to masturbate
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
