I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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