You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
