in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
