If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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