we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
