fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
