hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
