Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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