I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
