Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
