As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
