I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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