Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
