I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
