When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
