U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
