remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
