It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
