That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
