I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
