Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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