Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
