I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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