I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
