i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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