i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
