He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Houston, we have a blender
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
