I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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