Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
