Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
