My nipple is on Facebook.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
