we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my shit smells like andre
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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