I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
