she was so not down for the gang bang
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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