I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
