worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
