Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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